Sometimes...
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm doing some things. Lately, I question myself about what am I doing. I get frustrated at things easily. Which isn't a very good thing. I'm serving God in the CG but sometimes I feel very lost. I don't know am I doing the right thing because their isn't any feedback. A simple respond would be good enough but I don't see it coming. Why am I serving in this ministry in the first place? All I'm believing now is that I'm doing this because God has called me and is moulding me. I'm doing this because I trust Him. Another reason I do, to bless others. That's about all.
Sometimes I really don't understand what are people going through. Why are they like this? I guess they ask the same of me. I can't be too highly expectant of them. After we are all humans with diferent characters.
Sometimes I feel like giving up on everything I have now. I feel like not trying anymore because I don't see prospect, a future in the things I labor and invest. If giving up would solve all my problems, then I'll do it but it isn't true with the problems I have. Giving up would never work. If I ever give up on some things, it would affect others adversely. I don't want to cause the downfall of others.
I just want to be free...free to serve and bless...freeing up my time, effort and time to provide the best service. May it be pleasing unto You, my Lord. This I want all the time...
Sometimes I really don't understand what are people going through. Why are they like this? I guess they ask the same of me. I can't be too highly expectant of them. After we are all humans with diferent characters.
Sometimes I feel like giving up on everything I have now. I feel like not trying anymore because I don't see prospect, a future in the things I labor and invest. If giving up would solve all my problems, then I'll do it but it isn't true with the problems I have. Giving up would never work. If I ever give up on some things, it would affect others adversely. I don't want to cause the downfall of others.
I just want to be free...free to serve and bless...freeing up my time, effort and time to provide the best service. May it be pleasing unto You, my Lord. This I want all the time...
posted by Philip at Sunday, October 16, 2005
13 Comments:
Hey, don't lah doubt yourself...I dunno what is going on in your cg, but, I do know you are doing some good unto me, at least...*smiles* Hanging out with you, Lydia & Ronson this sem...listening to you three talk about God...has inevitably motivated me to be closer to God. Guess what?! I made an effort to wake up at 7 this morning to attend church service leh *hee-hee* n very surprisingly...the worshipping songs moved me to tears *blushes* Plus...I did not fall asleep while the Pastor was delivering his sermon! That's a Big improvement to me! :Þ Oke la, that's all from me. Smiles~
'I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep running and struggling to take hold of the prize.'
toothygrin..i know who are you...Jesus knows you the best. I thank you for not giving up on Him. Thank you for trusting in Jesus. I'm very glad and blessed to see you having the faith in Christ. After sleeping the whole night through like a baby I finally realised that I'm doing all for God. I'm not a man pleaser but a God pleaser. I know very well now I come to serve HIm and His people for Christ is a servant leader. Not that I don't have choices. I could walk away and leave a hundred hurt, dreams shattered, visions blinded and hopes crushed. My one aim, to know Jesus compels me to persevere.As David in the Psalms talk s about it, Paul talks about it in the epistles and Jesus having gone through it, I must also carry the cross and follow Him. Thank you very much. Rock on for Jesus!
Hey, way to go! Supporting you all the way ya? *hugs*
hang in there, buddy!
*hugz*
thanx peeps....love you guys lots...thanx for encouraging me.
Philip...that's what friends are for! *smiles* And, yes, I expected you to know who I am. It's soO Obvious isn't it? *winks* Kalau u tak dapat teka ah, hmm...there's nothing much I can say, except...D-uh! LOL
Fool..
I am a fool. (Haha, laughs cynically)
Fool. Fool. Fool. Yep, a stupid, idotic fool.
Only fools think that things can be changed.
Only fools believe that lives can be transformed, even when one's own life is struggling to be transformed.
Only fools run around doing something that does not even benefit oneself.
Only fools pray for people who really make one cry.
Only fools try and fall. And stupidly try again. Only to fall again.
Only fools refuse to scumb to apathy, yet know apathy is bliss.
Only fools still believe in a system that is rotten and imperfect.
Only fools go down to streets to be rejeted.
Only fools believe that Christianity is salvagable.
Only fools try to hold on to principles that clearly do not seem to "pay out"
Only fools believe in people.
Only fools worry for others yet is helpless to do anything.
Only fools fight a losing battle.
Only fools do the most stupid things that don't get appreciated, get critized and have no results.
Only fools think to0 much.
Important! haha Only fools take dating seriously and miss out on happiness, and appear desperate and get looks of sympathy.
Only fools are emotional and get labelled such.
Only fools refuse to let things rot, and get themselves involved in people's mess.
Only fools lose hope yet try to find optimism even though optimism is hard to find and then get frustrated.
Only fools care for things, people, events, circumstances that break one's heart to the max, and then wonder what's all the hearbreak all about because it's easier to just ignore and concentrate on one's own life.
Only fools bring more trouble on themselves, unneccessarily.
Only fools hope for someone who will still love and treasure them, even though clearly nobody falls for fools.
Only fools want to give up, can give up, yet won't give up, and struggle like mad to press on when they don't give up.
Only fools know they are fools yet still want to be fools.
Only fools.
Yet He was the ULTIMATE fool, in the eyes of the world, naked on the cross.
The fool,
Who didn't need to die.
Didn't need to come down, be tempted, cry, be rejected, be mocked, be misunderstood, be beaten, scorned.
Didn't need to be disappointed in twelve men joslting for the right hand seat, or betrayed for 30 pieces of silver.
Didn't need to be born in a smelly stable. Be so vulnerable.
Didn't need to see the sufferings of people. Didn't need to hurt where people hurt.
The fool, who's heart did not need to be broken when He saw people without a shephard.
The fool, who could have called legions of angels, than to have his clothes gambled for.
The fool, who risked everything, the whole church, on 11 men, one who denied him 3 times, others who fled when he hung on the cross.
The fool who didn't even have a place to rest his head. The fool who could have all the riches, glory and power. Yet, rejected all, for me.
The perfect One. Who chose to be a fool. Humble and obedient to death on the cross.
Lord, I feel like a stupid, idiotic fool.
But Lord if I'm going to be a fool, may I be a fool for You.
Fool, but a fool who loves You, and more importantly pleases You.
Hide me and remind me of Your love. For yes, I am human, who wants to be secure and accepted too... I hate to be the fool.
Yet Lord, fool for You. Not by my own strength or heart. But, because You chose to be a fool for me, first. Help me.
Aiya...we r in the same leaky boat la...
But I know somehow, somehow God will do the work..
It's his work anyway...
His people.
His people.
Stay real.
Stay in love with Jesus.
At the end, it's all about him..
(sorry for long crap post)
I know the fool, and I WANT to know the ULTIMATE fool. But I ain't no fool if I follow no fool. But still, I want to know THE fool. You wanna come along? ;)
Wah Grace...you check his blog every few minutes one ar?
Ahaha..cuz I just posted and when I came back to try to edit something...I saw ur post already..
:)
Looks like the ah beng has a special place in ur heart!! :)
Btw, I may be going to Orang asli mission trip with U..
C how la cuz just signed up, but not sure. depends on exam
Hopefully jadi..
LOL. Yeah, he does. But it's like an open secret. Didn't I tell you that you have a special place in my heart too? ;) Yeah, I thought so too. Great to know you might be coming. We'll have a great time. =)
awesome knowing you fools. cos i tot i was the only fool drowning in my sorrows. choking in the system. suffocated. but all is good in the end cos we are following the right Fool. who bare it all for us to be like Him so that we can dwell, drown and continuosly soak in His presence. I wish to be a fool for Christ. thank you dear friends...
hey you know i actually heard of some people saying that such doubt can be constructive if it leads you closer to Him.. so we should actually be thankful for such an experience la.
but i personally think you are doing a great job cos i'm just starting to serve so i've got a long way to go before i get anywhere near your level of closeness with Him man. keep it up alright
thanks for the encouragement james. hope you reach the level where you look back and you say all is worth sacrificing...the yolk aint heavy. all of us serve one Master..all are equal i only know Him a little better...thats all..=)
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